Yes, it can be downright overwhelming. Some days the flame burns low.

I look around at all that needs to be done. I see how the work I did a few years ago is already getting tattered and calling for attention. I wonder what’s going to be discovered next. Will the roof leak? Will the water heater stop working? Will lightning blow-up the water pump (again)?

There were many times I’d drag myself off of a ladder or plank, collapse in a chair and growl the word of surrender: Condo. Let’s forget this monstrosity and buy a condominium or rent an apartment. The white flag of surrender is hoisted when my body is weary of fighting Nature’s  incessant erosion of wood and paint and mortar. There must be more to a bird’s life than continual nest repair.

As it turns out, many attempts at finding happiness through leisure seem to fail. A day at the beach is nice. A ride on the motorcycle is great. A hike on the mountain is wonderful.

But so is the feeling I get when the sun hits a freshly painted section at just the right angle, usually just before dusk. I think back. I see myself up there, years ago, slaving away at those old boards, trying to make them smooth as glass. The dimming light makes the lavender glow.

Sometimes I get melancholy. Sometimes I smile. Often, I just stare in awe.

That pride doesn’t come from a day at the beach.